Thursday, April 13, 2006

Unpatent 1 - A Method for Software Optimisation

Description of the Invention
This is a method for improving the performance of software. We know that when a program runs, some parts of the code are used more often than others. We call these the hotspots in the code. Experienced programmers try to find, and eliminate these hotspots, because they cause the computer to crash. As the code in the hotspots gets run over and over, the transit of increasing numbers of electrons through those parts of the CPU's memory will encounter molecular resistance, leading to gradual warming of the affected memory locations. PC makers have installed more powerful fans to allow inefficient languages, like .NET and Java, which are full of hotspots, to run better. But even an efficient language like Algol-68 will have some hotspots, which will eventually get very hot. Following the principle of thermodynamic expansion, the memory containing the code hotspots will slowly expand, and the asymmetric expansion will eventually cause the memory chips to come loose in their sockets. If this process goes too far, the CPU will run out of memory, and crash. The key to finding hotspots is to use a code thermometer, which is an instrument that regularly scans the CPU's memory and measures the temperature of each memory zone, with respect to the ambient temperature of the operating system. When the code thermometer detects a zone of increased temperature, it invokes a CPU memory remapper subroutine that remaps the affected zone to an unused memory location.
1. A method for invoking a subroutine.


Blogger Axel H Horns said...

Patent or patent application number?

11:29 AM  
Blogger Pieter Hintjens said...

I do apologise. This is not actually a real patent application. It was an invention of my fevered mind. The description does not make any sense whatsoever, it is a flurry of half-truth and subterfuge designed to misdirect the inexpert mind and confuse it into obedience so that the all-important claims would pass unchallenged.

My point was to show that in software patent language, clarity is a bug, not a feature.

I think you helped me prove this point.

2:38 PM  

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